aku semakin lupa...

hari ni aku lupa lagi..dah kunci pintu tp siap tinggal plak kunci kt tombol ahahaha..
hairan juga knapa la lately semakin menjadi jadi lak masalah kelupaan aku ni..simptom2 ketuaan kah hahaha..ish mak penah cakap nasib baik la hidung tu mlekat kt muka, kalau x sure aku lupa letak kt mn.
simtom2 kelupaan kau ni dh mngalahkan ibu beranak 10..mcm nenek 60 thn..tp hakikatnye baru je 25 tahun hidup..ish entahla
byk sgt ke aku berfikir? rasenye tidak..byk sgt ke masalah aku?..juga tidak..habis apa yg membuatkan aku lupe? confuse2..may be aku x pay attention kt mende aku tgh buat..and may be aku take for granted kt pesanan yg diberi..
mlm ni aku nk buat to do list untuk esok..kalu x sure lupa lg..apa ye nk bwat esok?

pertanyaan2 itu..

Single lagi?
dah kawin?
Bile nk kawin?
Ko plak lagi?

itu lah antara soalan yg sering dilontarkn pd ku, malas rasenye nk jawab..bkn ape bile aku bg jawapan sejujurnya pasti akan dibalas dengan reaksi seperti mereka tidak percaya dengan jawapan yg kuberikan itu...salah satu situasi adalah ketika aku bertemu dgn rakan sekerja di fakulti..perbulanku bersama Kak.F baru-baru ni..

Kak F: insyaallah majlis akak dilangsungkn hujung tahun ni, jeputlah datang..
Aku: Insyallah..tp kat mn?
Kak F: kt perak
Aku: oooo jauh tu..tengoklah kalau ade kawan yg bleh pg skali.
Kak F: alah,..ajakla boyfren ko pegi
Aku: huhu sy mn la ade boyfren kak..single lagi lorr
Kak F: eh! yeke..tipulah
Aku: eh akak ni..btul la..bwatpe lak nk tipu
Kak F: ish, x caye la aku...
Aku: nape lak x caye..btul ni
Kak F: yela ko tu cantik, berkerjaya, baik budi pekerti... dh stabil pon..x kan la blum ade bf..agak susah untuk dipercayai bile ko kate single..
Aku: hmm..susah la nk explain..ikut akak la..

akhirnye perbualan aku habis di situ aje..malas nk beriya-iya sgt nk tegaskn yg aku ni masih blum berpunya...lagi pon bkn senang dia nk percaya..

tp jawapan dia membuatkan aku terpikir..nape aku single lg?..actually aku x pernah risau sgt pasal nk cari bf..pada aku bila masa nye tiba aku akn jumpe jgak that special someone..mungkin cepat atau lambat aje..bkan ke jodoh tu ditentukan Allah...tp bila sorang demi sorang kawan 2ku telah mengubah status mnjadi isteri org dan aku terus di hujani soalan menayakan bile plak giliran aku..aku jadi confuse kjap..adakah aku perlu mencari..atau terus menunggu..adakah aku mempunyai kekurangan sampai sehingga skrg blum ade bf..rimas bila ramai yg bertanye..kadang2 rase malas nk jawab or ade juga terpikir nk jawab mcm ni 'if only i can buy a husband, i must've been married by now'...nope i dare not saying that..hahaha macam la berani kan..

ade plak tu yg ikut sedap mulut dia je cakap aku ni memilih sangat la atau high taste sangat la..pada aku knape tidak jika kite ade hak memilih untuk memilih kan? x kan la nk main sambar je..tangkap muat je..aku tau, nobody is perfect, tp aku harap lelaki yg akan ku pilih itu mesti la at least ade 80% ciri2 yang aku nk..

pada yg telah berkahwin atau yg dh bercouple..kite yg single ni semcm ade kekurangan..yelah sume dh ade cume bf or husband je xde..macam la hidup kite ni hny complete bile ade sorang lelaki kt sebelah...pada aku mempunyai seseorang untuk berkongsi kegembiraan dan kebahagiaan itu mmg la impian semua wanita..tidak terkecuali la aku, tp tidak bermakna tanpa insan tersebut aku x boleh bahagia, aku ade parent, family and friends yg aku boleh kongsi kejayaan, kebahagiaan dan kegembiraan itu..

aku x nk jd single sepanjang hanyat, tp aku bersedia sekiranya jodohku bukan di sini..x nk jd desperate tp bukan pula aku menolak cinta kerana itu adalah fitrah semula jadi bagi yg bernama manusia..aku bukan ROBOT!..tp aku tidak melihat singlehood ini sebagai kekurangan atau sesuatu yg harus aku risaukan...mungkin ini yang terbaik untuk ku buat masa ini..Allah memberi peluang untuk mengenali diri sendiri, memperkembangkan career, melanjutkn pelajaran, belajar benda2 baru dan pergi ke tempat yg blum pernah aku pergi sebelum ini..dan kesempatan itu juga memberi peluang untuk aku merapatkan diri dgn ibu bapa dan famili..semua ini adalah persediaan sebelum aku berkahwin dan mempunyai keluarga sendir..lagipun aku masih muda..at the age of 25, i think there's a lot more things to do and to concentrate rather than complaining and worrying about being single..i just want to live my life to the fullest and to enjoy being single while u still can..yeah!

10 things you love about yourself

pondering...
have u ever pondered at the thought of having to list down all that you love about yourself..i bet you have..it seems easier to say about what you hate or what you don't like rather than talking about the good qualities that you possess...to be honest sometimes i don't believe when my friends say something good about me..i thought they just trying to be nice or somehow exaggerating the fact that might be partially true..yes i know it might sound like i'm such a scepticle person..so now trying to convince myself that some facts are true about me..which i can hardly deny..

1. i'm confident
2. i'm smart but tend to pretend that i'm not
3. i'm patient
4. i'm strong and not breakdown easily to tears..oh yes i 'm not very easy to cry
5. i'm honest & loyal to my friends
6. i'm able to be leader and also able to be lead by a good leader
7. i'm brave, but not often willing to take chance (i mean in certain condition such as...)
8. i'm a good daughter to my proud parent and a good sister to my brother..
9. i'm outgoing and flexible
10. oh..should i say that some people find me attractive?..blush!

just another boring day..

hari ini aku terasa sangat bosan..kenape eh? itulah soalan yg sering berlegar kt kepala aku ni..nape la hr ni super duper bosan kan..tp bila 2 pikir aku rase jawapannye sbb aku duk sorang2 kt bilik tgkt 2 ni..sume colegue aku ade kt clinic huhuk sedeinye bile kne campak kt sini..tp patutnye aku happy coz ade byk mase nk siapkn keje yg dh lame tetangguh tu..tp bese la bile kemalasan menguasai diri...asyik nk cari alasan kn...entah bila la nk brubah..mungkin aku ni jenis yg x boleh duk sorang2 sbb bile sorang2 aku jd bosan yg teramat..bile dh bosan satu keje pon xjd..kalu weekend plak bile aku rase boring duk umah sorang2 pasti mindaku ni cepat je cari jalan penyelesaian..kaedah yg paling berkesan pd aku x lain dan bukan adalah shopping bak kate rebecca bloomwood dlm confessions of shopaholic, when i shopping i feel better, the world get better..no doubt that shopping can be a quick and fast acting remedy to ease your boredom..at least it works well on me..and i can't be any better without it..

Looking for a hero

Hero by Mariah Carey

There's a hero if you look inside your heart.
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.
There's an answer if you reach into your soul
and the sorrow that you know will melt away.
And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.
It's a long road when you face the world alone.
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
You can find love if you search within yourself
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.
And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.
Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away.
Hold on, there will be tommorow.
In time you'll find the way.
And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.
That a hero lies in you,
that a hero lies in you.

take time listen to this..

Oh i'm too addicted to this song..can't stop humming to it's rhyme..

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

the lyric is just so beautiful and meaningful to me..it help boosting your spirit when you feel down..so cherish the song

how many friends you have?

You may have hundreds of friend in your friendster, facebook or even myspace, but how many of them that you actually know? that's the question that always lingers in my mind. i have quite a number of friends in my list, thanks to the continuous invites and requests that recived from both people that i already know and some from strangers who want to befriend with me.sure i'm so glad to accept..but when looking back at those so called 'friends' in my list, i actually wonder if they ever remember that i'm exist..the same goes to the names and numbers that i've stored in my phone..i don't even know if they still in used or not..why?i guess i finally get the answer..

during my last birthday, i waited anxiously to know who will be the first person to wish me..i stayed awake untill 12 am as usually people start to wish birthday at 12..but no..there'se no wishes at all..not even from my mom or dad..so sad..

then in the morning i recived the first wish from a friend, indeed a very close one..i know this girl long time ago since we were in school..and we instantly clique together troughout the college life even we didn't go to the same uni..but i know she always there for me..

later i got a call from mak and walid..walid even sang the birthday song to me..oh sweet of him..they quickly apologized for not wishing me earlier saying that they miscalculated the date..they forgot that it was 1st april, my birthday..nway apology accepted..i was too happy to sulk..

then follows by a few other birthday wishes from my collegues, friends and family..but overall it was not as happening as last year when i celebrated my 24th birthday..i got fewer wishes compared to last year. it means only a few people remember my birthday this year..i don't like it as it made me feel unappreciated and soo lonely

i was thinking may be they were just too busy with works, studies and stuff..but then i questioned myself,do i ever remember their birthday..and yes the answer is yes i don't remember all of them..so serve me right i guess.

how many friend that i actually call or text a message..merely two or three of them..and only if they make the first call or send me the sms first..basically everything i do is just as a response to them..never really make the firs move..why? may be because simply can't think of anything to say..i only communicate with people on purpose..most of it related to work..very rare for the pleasure of getting to know my friends..it's just something that i'm not good at..something that i need to learn and a skill to be polished because i know if i don't make an effort to reach them how they gonna reach me in return..

so should i change my strategy now in order get more birthday wish next year?...

Happy belated birthday dear,

lurve,

yourself.

nothing much to say

thanks god at last i manage to create this blog acc...i've been thinkin bout having my own blog for quite long,so this is it..finally i have one! but today i have very limited time to create this post as so many works is waiting to be done...so that's all for now..to be continue