how many friends you have?

You may have hundreds of friend in your friendster, facebook or even myspace, but how many of them that you actually know? that's the question that always lingers in my mind. i have quite a number of friends in my list, thanks to the continuous invites and requests that recived from both people that i already know and some from strangers who want to befriend with me.sure i'm so glad to accept..but when looking back at those so called 'friends' in my list, i actually wonder if they ever remember that i'm exist..the same goes to the names and numbers that i've stored in my phone..i don't even know if they still in used or not..why?i guess i finally get the answer..

during my last birthday, i waited anxiously to know who will be the first person to wish me..i stayed awake untill 12 am as usually people start to wish birthday at 12..but no..there'se no wishes at all..not even from my mom or dad..so sad..

then in the morning i recived the first wish from a friend, indeed a very close one..i know this girl long time ago since we were in school..and we instantly clique together troughout the college life even we didn't go to the same uni..but i know she always there for me..

later i got a call from mak and walid..walid even sang the birthday song to me..oh sweet of him..they quickly apologized for not wishing me earlier saying that they miscalculated the date..they forgot that it was 1st april, my birthday..nway apology accepted..i was too happy to sulk..

then follows by a few other birthday wishes from my collegues, friends and family..but overall it was not as happening as last year when i celebrated my 24th birthday..i got fewer wishes compared to last year. it means only a few people remember my birthday this year..i don't like it as it made me feel unappreciated and soo lonely

i was thinking may be they were just too busy with works, studies and stuff..but then i questioned myself,do i ever remember their birthday..and yes the answer is yes i don't remember all of them..so serve me right i guess.

how many friend that i actually call or text a message..merely two or three of them..and only if they make the first call or send me the sms first..basically everything i do is just as a response to them..never really make the firs move..why? may be because simply can't think of anything to say..i only communicate with people on purpose..most of it related to work..very rare for the pleasure of getting to know my friends..it's just something that i'm not good at..something that i need to learn and a skill to be polished because i know if i don't make an effort to reach them how they gonna reach me in return..

so should i change my strategy now in order get more birthday wish next year?...

Happy belated birthday dear,

lurve,

yourself.